I love being a journalist

OK, don't get cynical on me now. You Poynter peeps know what I'm talking about....the thrill of being the first one to break a story, to get a source to leak something to you that he or she won't tell anyone else, or just having someone tell you that you got the story right.

Unfortunately, I still haven't left the safe womb of journalism school yet, so I can only live vicariously through my friends who're "real" journos, who sit in a newsroom surrounded by lively banter. But I still get a little journalistic high in writing the series of stories I'm writing for my final project for my master's degree.

Like how I can conduct interviews sitting outside, on the Iowa Memorial Union terrace, where ducks quack a few feet away, as a lilting breeze fells autumn leaves loose from branches above. Thanks to the miracle of wireless technology, I can talk to someone on the cell phone and go directly to the website he mentions, because my computer is wireless and so is the Internet. How oblivious my source was to where I was, what I was doing or what I was wearing (I could be in my PJs for all he knows)... until I had to apologize to him for the ambulance that blared by, so we could hardly hear each other. What other job allows you to do that? OK...I can think of a few others.

Or how I'm interviewing the mayor of Indianola, a small town in Iowa, and when I ask him if it's a good time to talk, he says, "Sure. I'm only trying to get some masking tape off the floor." And we go into a few seconds' worth of discussion about conditions that would make it easier to get tape off the floor.

It's funny, the things that I get used to from being a journalist. Like, how I can't seem to sit down and write for extensive periods of time unless I hear other people clacking on keyboards around me too, punctuated by the occasional, "hey, what's up" from people passing by. They don't necessarily need to be talking to me....

When I first came to the United States, I didn't have a job. I followed the news for four years and had withdrawal symptoms from not doing so. Several times, I had to stop myself from chasing an ambulance that passed by, camera in tow and notebook in hand. After some time, I realized it was silly to carry around an old-fashioned SLR all the time. Even real photojournalists don't do that anymore.... now that they have digital cameras!

I'm on the verge of graduating, on the cusp of getting back into the business. Something I've been longing for for years. But, I'm now in my early 30s, I need 8 hours of sleep and I have a husband to go home to. If we have our way, we may get a little Ooi in a year or two. Do I give up the thrill of the chase for the diaper pail? Exchange my notebook for a safety pin? How do I balance who I am and who I want to be?